We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize