have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
