If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
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