Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I faked an abortion last night.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
