i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We just shotgunned beers for America
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
