You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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