You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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