ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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