My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
