you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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