are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
