I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
