Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
