He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
