Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
