Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
When did angry sex become our thing?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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