Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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