What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
