so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
