Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
