Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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