A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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