dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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