all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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