iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
