its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Bang-toberfest begins!!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
