I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
