those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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