Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
