I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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