What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club đ
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I should have known it wouldnât work. Someone saved in her phone as âSubway Sexâ called the week before the wedding
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