So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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