i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize