I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
