did you get engaged???
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
