If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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