Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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