I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
