Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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