You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
