Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
