shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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