I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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