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Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
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