and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
