all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
there is puke in my bra ... again
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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