need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
