420 ftw
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
