You just made me feel so damn special
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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