Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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