ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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