Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
