why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
