I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
