My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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