she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize