is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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