Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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