I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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