i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
