"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
